For Him and I (edited/work-shopped by J.R.)

Intoxicating kisses laced
with rum and scotch,
You’re fading from my memory–
an ache that started soft.

I can remember what it felt like:
the weight of our fingers intertwined.
But never a place
and never a time.

Blind, I led my hopeless
heart astray, into dreams
laced with spicy cologne.
My own trap of blissful haze.

I know what it felt like:
the heat of you exploring me.
But the feverish peaks we climbed
were piles of dry autumn leaves.

Like a fool, my heart
still thinks of only you,
holding my pieces together,
only to break me in two.

And maybe one day our kisses,
laced with intoxicating dreams,
will fade away from my memory,
Slow like the throbbing at my seams.

Special Special Thanks to J.R. (http://tobaccokiosk.wordpress.com)

For Him and I

Like intoxicating kisses,
Laced with rum and scotch,
You’re fading from my memory,
As slow as an ache that started soft.

I can remember what it felt like,
The weight of your fingers laced in mine,
But I cannot recall the heat of the moment,
In that place from that time.

Like a blind wanderer,
I led my hopeless heart astray,
Into dreams laced with spicy cologne,
Into my own trap of wishful haze.

I know what it had felt like,
The heat of you exploring me,
Yet the feverish peaks we climbed,
Seem only like piles of dry autumn leaves.

And somehow like a fool,
My heart still thinks of only you,
Holding my pieces together,
Perhaps only to break me in two.

And maybe one day our kisses,
Laced with intoxicating dreams,
Will fade away from my memory,
Slow like the throbbing at my seams.

After Dessert

The rich mahogany of the wood-paneled flooring, and the soft creamy textures of the tall walls contrasted beautifully. Those colors combined with the deep reds, browns, and beiges, gave off an ambiance of warmth. The fire in the hearth was flickering with a light crackling sound, heating the cabin right up. A throaty voice drawled seductively from an old vinyl, and the smooth sounds behind the voice danced along the walls and throughout the cozy family-room, and into the kitchen.
The kitchen was another magnificent room, with marble-tiled flooring, and granite countertops, it was decorated with stainless steel appliances and the magnificent gas-stove installed atop the island-counter in the center of the room. Towards the far corner along the counter that was against the wall, there was a great sink before which was an open window. Frost from the biting cold lined the glass, and she stood washing the dinner plates at the sink and staring out that window. It was a full moon that night, and despite the cold, it was a clear night. No one lived near this cabin for miles, out there in the more wooded area of the town. The guests had just left not too long ago, and since then the breeze had picked up outside.
The wind moaned around the cabin, but it was far too quiet for her to notice. She tucked a lock of auburn hair behind her right ear, and continued to work. Standing where she was, barefoot, her hips swaying, she looked delectable. She wore her knee-length dinner dress, a creamy beige that nearly blended with her skin and had faded tufts of deep blue all through it. From her dainty ears hung a set of soft pearl earring along with a long pearl necklace that hung around her delicate neck, sitting just above the round peaks of the creamy skin at her breasts. Her skin looked almost rosy under the kitchen lights, and her dark reddish brown tresses looked stark against her skin. The long curls had been down all evening but as the guests left, she’d twisted them up into a loose bun, and a few stray strands framed her cheeks. Her name was Lilly.
As she finished with the dishes she wrung out a cloth and began to wipe down the counter, leaning forward into it slightly. It was then that she felt a pair of well-muscled, large, and comfortingly warm arms snake around her waist and pulled her backwards, into a tall, hard body.
Startled at first, her lips parted on a small gasp, before she recognized the smell of him. Giggling she turned her head to the side to see him as best she could, as he pressed in close. He wore only his black trousers, and she squirmed, her giggles turning into whimpers as his lips reached the sensitive skin behind her ear. His skin was darker than hers, tanned from working under the sun, and her head barely reached his broad shoulders, resting at his chest. His hair was naturally so dark it almost looked black, and the color of his eyes stood out against his skin, a cool grey. Her own eyes were a warm hazel, and though his eyes could seem cold at times, while those eyes were looking at her anyone could see the grey turn molten. His name was Adam, her husband. Squirming as his hands splayed open, palm in, over the soft curve of her belly, Lilly tried to pry his fingers away.

“I’m not done cleaning yet, Adam, if you won’t help then at least don’t distract me,” she said in an impatient voice.

His grip tightened on her and he pressed in closer. It was then, that she felt his evident arousal, hot and pulsing, pressed against her. Lilly’s eyes widened and she squirmed,

“A-Adam, I-…I’m not done clea-” she started to stammer out.

She wasn’t sure what had gotten him to this point, and before she could finish her sentence he spun her around only to trap her between his large frame and the counter. Before she could utter another word his lips caught hers, effortlessly, in a searing kiss. Her breath left her, as he tugged at her lips with his own, and parted her only to slide his tongue inside and explore her. His tongue moved in then out of her, and then pulled back to nibble on her bottom lip. Hungry herself now, Lilly lifted up on her toes and reached up to slide her fingers along his jaw and let her own smaller tongue flick out to taste his lips. Moaning he pulled away and looked down at her, already ragged with need. Her lips were a tad swollen now, and his whiskers had left some redness around her mouth. Damn he loved how she looked just then: dazed, breathless, and marked as his.
A possessive need overcame him and he lifted her off of her feet with one final grunt of decision. He would take her, tonight, right away. As he scooped her up, Lilly looked startled yet again and began to squirm in his arms. Suddenly the realization of what was happening sank in and she flushed deeper,

“A-Adam I- I still need to g-get changed a-and the d-dining table is a m-mess…” she went on, and then gasped as she remembered something.

Not even a week ago, he’d been hurt while working. It had been a long day, and the doctor that had tended to his stitches told him specifically to not do anything vigorous. Her cheeks became scarlet as she thought to herself, he is always vigorous with these things...

“And you’re hurt! Oh dear lord, Adam the d-doctor said no heavy lifting! Oh, put me down! Y-You’ll hurt yourself!”

Scowling at her he stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to their bedroom and looked down at her, a small little thing in his arms and said, “Babe, the only thing hurting me right now are these damned pants…” Satisfied with the silence that fell upon her after a short gasp, he grinned at her flushed cheeks and leaned in to kiss each one, and then her nose.
Up they went, then, until he reached the bedroom door. He kicked it open and moving up to the large, plush, bed he lowered his wife down onto the mattress. Crawling up on top of her he kissed her once more before trailing kisses down over her chin then her neck, only to kiss his way back up along her jaw to suck on her earlobe with his lips, and kiss her there.

“The food was great tonight, you know…” he mumbled distractedly, as he worshipped her soft skin.

“Oh…” was all she could say.

“Yeah, and the set up was… nice…” he sighed the last word as he kissed back down her neck and caught her squirming.

“Th-thats good…” she gasped.

“And you…” he trailed his kisses lower to her chest before reaching between them, and slowly lifting the hem of the dress, up and over her head.

He sucked in his breath as he removed it whole, and watched her laying there before him, bare to his gaze, in nothing by her tiny lace panties. Adam’s steamy gaze then moved to the rosie peaks of her full breasts. He groaned, the sight of her nearly undoing him.

“I-… I what…?” she stammered shyly, lifting her lashes to watch him carefully.

Looking up in her eyes he bit his bottom lip before leaning in close again, heat rippling off of him.

“You looked delicious… Good-enough-to-eat,” as he spoke the last few words he dipped his head lower and lower until, after the last word, he caught one of her nipples with his lips.

Lilly let out a startled squeak and her back arched upwards as her eyes squeezed shut and she turned her face away weakly. Reaching up she slid her fingers through his hair and squirmed as his tongue joined his lips, heightening the small, quick, pulses of pleasure that shot through her with each suckle. Groaning she squirmed beneath him, and her fingers moved over his shoulders then and down his arms. Back up his arms she rested her hands over his shoulders, her gentle kneading fingers driving him nearly over the edge. Pulling away he moved to the other nipple and did the same thing. Gasping for breath, she was sure she’d come from just his lips doing the things he was doing.
Finally moving from her, now beaded, nipples he reached down to those lace panties of hers, and ever so slowly slid them off, all the way down. As he tossed them aside he looked at her, and shook his head as she reached down to cover her privates instinctively.

“I’ve seen you before sweetheart… don’t hide…” He said in a quiet, rumbling, voice.

A slow smile, then, curved her lips as she spread her legs and revealed to him the wet proof of her equal arousal. Groaning he reached for her, but she quickly scooted out of reach. Shaking her head at him, she lowered herself onto her back again, and then, legs parted, she reached down and parted her lips for him, before slowly running her finger up and then down over those lips. Then ever so slowly she began to pleasure herself infront of him, moaning and stretching and straining, going fast then slow. Her breasts bounced with her squirming and slightly jerky movements, as her fingers brushed up against overly-sensitive spots. Adam watched, his jaw clenched and his hands in fists, as she writhed before him and did to herself what he wanted, needed, to do to her.
Her gasps came quicker, and became louder, until finally she came. Exploding into a million fragments, Lilly moaned long and hard. After a few minutes, once she’d gained enough strength and wit, she sat up on her knees and looked up at him. While she’d been putting on a show for him, he’d quietly removed his pants, and she could see the prominent evidence of his arousal. Biting her bottom lip she crawled towards him on all fours and moved up to place a warm welcoming kiss on his lip. Tugging on her lower lip between his teeth, he pressed his hot palms against the beaded tips of her breasts, before running them down tp cup her round behind, and press her more firmly to him. As his pulsing male member pressed to her she squeaked and quickly shimmied out of his reach shaking her head playfully.

“No! It’s my turn…” she whispered, and then, sitting on her knees, she pushed him back onto the bed.

Once he was leaning back against the pillows, she shyly got on all fours, and ever so slowly leaned her head down. Before he could look up to watch her move, she lowered her soft lips over the head of him, and he groaned at the feel of her soft, warm, breath falling over him. As he moaned she lowered her lips further only to pull back, and run her tongue along the length of him. Moaning softly at the flavor she found there, she began to kiss from the tip of him all the way down to the base. Teasing him with her tongue and lips she moaned again, and felt him tense. Adam felt his control slipping, and his every muscle tensed and rippling with desire. On a low growl he moved her up and over him, and before she knew it, she was beneath him and on her back. Looking up at him she started to slide her hands back down towards his throbbing manhood,

“But I wasn’t do-” he cut her words short, as he quickly grasped her delicate wrists between one of his large hands, and pinned them gently back above her head.

Lilly squirmed, a bit startled, and looked up at him suddenly shy again. He lowered himself then, on top of her, until she could feel every inch of him pressed to her much smaller, and softer frame. Feeling his arousal against the inside of one of her silky smooth thighs, she closed her eyes tight and he slowly spread her legs wider and leaned in to whisper sweet, erotic, promises into her ear. Trembling with need she whimpered as she felt him against her damp opening. Adam kissed her then, deep and hard. Then, without warning, he thrust deep into her, and she cried out loudly, her body arching up to meet his, and her hips squirming in startled protest. His hands now on her hips, held her tight as he began to slowly, and steadily rock himself inside of her.
Her gasps of pleasure turned into moans and those soft yet sinfully sexy sounds that came from her swollen lips grew louder and louder. Adam pumped in and out of her, his pace getting quicker, yet deeper. She felt so impossibly full of him, andvas she bit her bottom lip to muffle her sounds she failed. Her moans turned into a steady rhythm of “oh’s” and “ah’s”. As he moved with her, and together they climbed one peak and then another, Adam grit his teeth feeling her inner-walls convulsing and clamping down on him again and again as he brought her to one more climax, and then another. Lilly’s fingers dug into his back as she clung to him for dear life and writhed beneath him, overwhelmed with the intense pleasure thrumming through her.
Suddenly his pace picked up yet again, and he was pushing himself into her faster, and deeper and harder. She was sure that she couldn’t come one more time, she’d lost count of the orgasms she’d just endured and as he showered kisses all over her shoulders and neck and chest, she held on and gasped for breath.

“A-Adam… I-.. I can’t… Oh!” as she started to protest she felt her body give in to the pleasures he provided.

Nearly screaming his name, she tumbled over the edge yet again, her body writhing and jerking beneath him as he elongated her pleasure with his relentless thrusting. She was whimpering from the pleasure and digging her nails into his shoulders and arms now, trying desperately to hold on. At last he reached the peak with her and groaned as he released his seed deep inside of her. Grunting he held her close, spilling into her, and she held onto him, breathless and dazed. Feeling helplessly full she closed her eyes, flushed, and exhausted. Gathering her close, Adam cuddled up behind her now and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead.
Smiling sleepily up at him, she shivered and burrowed in closer to his chest, turning to face him. Moving as she shivered he quickly tucked her in beneath the sheets, joining her a moment later.

“I- I don’t know what’s g-gotten into you, Adam but th-…” she stammered and stopped as he finished for her.

“Was amazing?” he said quietly grinning at her with his eyes closed, as she laid her head on his chest.

“I was going to say, pretty good…” she giggled drowsily.

“Pretty good? Did you forget what just happened already, here let me remind you…”

Adam reached for her seductively, and laughing softly Lilly smacked his arm gently.

“Okay, okay, it was amazing!” she said quietly.

“Atta girl…”

Lilly yawned and curled up beside him. Snuggled together, they slowly drifted off to sleep.

Burning

His lascivious, lust-filled
Gaze is the color of

An oncoming storm.

He loves me

His breath, hot and heavy,
Is like a whirlwind of carnal need

And leaves me damp.

He loves me not

His hands so rough and ready,
Birth Goosebumps upon my skin,

Like hot water over cool breasts.

He loves me

His lips how they whisper,
Promises like entwined limbs weak,

From long nights.

He loves me not

He chases the shivers running up
The fine curve of my canvas with,

The consuming flaming that—

He loves me

Grows with every kiss and caress,
His aching desire against mine,

This night, my morals melt—

He loves me not

Until there is nothing else left but hunger,
The burn of bourbon and slick skin,

Soft and firm—

He loves me

Drawn out over eager bodies,
Controlled by lubricious longings,

Stretching and straining—

He loves me not

As we stroke this flame,
So deep inside,

Between us,

Again,

Gasping for air,

And again,

Begging,

And again,

Moaning,

And again…

Screaming…

Lord

Have

Mercy!

And I am lost.

What if he loves me?

Passing Romance- A Stream of Consciousness

Image

So I took a deep breath, and I walked away—have you ever felt a cool breeze dance along the small hairs that run up your limbs and over the underlying heat of the sun on your face? Have you seen the trees on hot evenings, when the leaves flutter and dance in the air, pulling the baby branches to and fro? Reaching for what’s left of the warm day as it sets. Have you ever closed your eyes long enough to hear children laughing like wind-chimes? Have you breathed in deeply enough that the mixed scent of lilac and freshly-mowed lawns followed you into your day-dreams? Have you walked simply for the sake of becoming lost? Have you watched your grey shadow, carefully, dancing along the pavement while you passed it? Have you then, raised your head, but to meet the eyes of a stranger? Have you, so completely and accidently, looked into the eyes of a stranger and without consciousness, placed him into a fantasy? Have you inhaled the scent of spring so deeply, that the blue skies seem to fill you forever? Have you ever been breathless? Oh, how it breaks the heart. But to imagine so freely, comes with the consequences of loving too easily, and with helplessness comes wisdom. Have you felt your stomach drop beneath the weight of your heaving heart, simply because he smiled? Have you built dreams on moments—strange moments—and then let them sit on the dusty windowsill of your mind? Have you ever given into the urge, to touch—gently brush—the vivid edges of the outsider? Have you thought, perhaps—for a fleeting second—that the outsider would come inside, like the perfect stranger? Have you ever been swept away as easily as autumn leaves? Have you settled for secret smiles, simply for the sake of being polite? Have you ever met the eyes of a man who holds abstruse wonder? Have you ever felt curiosity? It breaks your heart. But to imagine so freely, comes with the consequences of falling so easily—in love. Alas, with helplessness comes… wisdom. – So I walked away.

Aside

Rant Feb 18th, 2012

Firstly I’d like to say that a Jehovah’s Witness disrupted my slumber once again this morning just to tell me that the Armageddon is god’s war to kill all wicked things and “proved” this by reading an irrelevant text from the Bible that frankly I can’t even recall at this point. Does that mean all the “door-to-door” Jehovah’s Witnesses shall die? Because they are beyond wicked for ruining mine and others’ slumber/day multiple times just to impose their religion on us. I hope that’s what it means :| . Because I sure as hell will do it if someone else doesn’t.

 

Secondly, I don’t want to shovel the snow.

 

<3

xoxo

Sweetheart Blues Part 2

Bree gripped the banister as she struggled to make her way up the stairs. They seemed to go on forever, and as she finally reached the top step she stumbled onto the floor before her, leading to the hallway. Groaning, Bree struggled to get up but felt as if her body was far too heavy. Laying there on the hardwood floor she looked up just in time to catch Hauk leaving the bathroom she’d shown him earlier, wearing just a towel around his hips. The site of his damp hair and muscles slick from the steam had a flush creeping over her cheeks, and a heat growing somewhere deep inside.

Hauk turned and paused at the sight of Bree lying face down on the chestnut colored floor, with her rear up in the air, clad in pink lace panties. The hem of the long shirt she’d been wearing, that barely covered her to begin with, seemed to have ridden up as well. As his eyes wandered and his mind began to imagine certain scenarios, he caught her blush and when she turned her face away he took a step forward.

Gasping at his sudden movement, Bree shut her eyes tight.

“Wh- What are you doing?” she demanded.

Hauk lifted a brow at that and chuckled quietly. The dark rumbling sound made Bree’s toes curl.

“I should be asking you that. You’re the one on the floor,” he said watching that treacherous flush return.

“It’s my floor, I can do what I want on it,” she retorted with a drunken slur to her words.

She’s still got a fight left in her? Shaking his head, Hauk stepped forward and helped her up and she went crimson, turning away, but she didn’t move those hot hands of his from her, she was sure she’d fall if he didn’t hold her up.

“Wh-Why are you naked?” she asked cautiously. She’d obviously never seen a man in such a state.

“I’m not naked; I have a towel on see…?” His voice tugged at the towel around his waist; she squeaked and smacked his arm.

“Stop that! I-it’ll come-…” her voice trailed off as she suddenly passed out in his arms.

Shaking his head, Hauk lifted her up into her arms and walked down to the hallway. Unsure where her bedroom was, he went to the first room on his left in the hall opposite from the one in which his own room was. Pushing the door open with a foot, he carried her to the large plush bed in the middle of the room, carefully placing her upon it. As her body touched the plush covers of her bed, Bree curled onto her side her unconscious state. Sighing, Hauk looked down at her small form and wondered quietly what she must be dreaming of. As he thought of that, his eyes once again moved down her figure to the slight rise and fall of her breasts through the thin shirt. He felt his cock stiffen and groaned softly. God almighty, what have I gotten myself into… Unable to help himself, Hauk reached for the soft tresses that had fallen over her even softer cheek.

Slowly his hands began to lower, as if of their own accord, and soon he was cupping her shoulders, and then reaching towards the hardened tips of her breasts. So damn good... Feeling the beaded points graze his palm, he had to hold his towel up with his other hand. Moaning softly he flexed his fingers, and just as he started to wrap his fingers around them, she moaned in her drunken unconsciousness and turned fully towards him, eyes closed. As realization washed over him, he pulled away as if stung, and ran a hand over his face and rough chin. What are you thinking, man? Get the hell out of here!

With that thought in mind, Hauk turned and strode out of the bedroom closing the door behind him, and went to his own bedroom intending fully to pack and leave first thing in the morning. You need to get away from this damsel, man, right away.

Almost an hour later, Hauk was changed and packed. Lying back on the bed, he ran a shaking hand through his hair. He could still feel those hot tips against his palm, and his arousal twitched in disdain at him. Don’t think about her Hauk, just don’t… But as he closed his eyes to sleep all he could dream of were those damn breasts in his hands again.

~~~~~~

 

Bree opened her eyes slowly and then promptly shut them tight as the pitter-patter outside the window became unbearably loud. She flopped onto her belly with a groan and pressed her face into the pillow. She could barely remember the night before and tried hard to recall what had taken place. Fighting the waves of nausea the pains in her head brought as she tried to remember, Bree gasped and sat up. He’s still here! The ra- er…guy. Just then her stomach turned and she stumbled into her bathroom to empty out the contents of her stomach.

Almost an hour later, after taking a long shower and brushing out the nasty taste in her mouth, Bree walked back into her bedroom. Pausing she looked around and frowned. She couldn’t remember how or when she got to her bedroom but shrugged her nagging thoughts away. Quickly slipping into a pale teal colored spring dress she peeked out her window at the heavy rain drenching the soft petals of her tulips. Sighing ruefully, she turned and pulled her damp hair up into a loose bun. The teal of the dress brought out the rich coloring of her eyes, and her natural peach undertones radiated in the dim grey light coming from her window.

After a quick inspection of herself Bree left her bedroom and made her way down the stairs. Upon reaching the kitchen she stared at the sight of the shirtless man standing by her coffee pot. The grey light did nothing to soften the hard edges of the well sculpted muscles and wrapped around his abdomen and arms. He wore a pair of dark blue jeans, and as he poured a cup of coffee for himself the ripple of his muscles dried her mouth. Dear god he’s so… realizing she must be staring she shook her head and cleared his throat. Brianne would not fall for another man again, they’re all pigs.

Hauk stiffened then turned slightly to look at her. His eyes seemed to drink her in and that sensuous mouth of his twitch ever so slightly. He cleared his throat and started to speak when Bree, once again, interrupted him.

“It’s rude to drink someone else’s coffee without their permission you know,” she said looking away.

“Well, I thought I deserved it. I mean especially after last night…” his voice trailed off as he turned towards her fully, and inspected her carefully.

“L-last night? What happened? What do you…” Bree’s voice trailed off at the playful glint in his eyes.

Heat crept over her cheeks and she stammered clutching the small locket at her throat, “W-we… I mean d-did… I-…”

The lost and utterly betrayed look on her face hit Hauk straight in the gut. Groaning he took a long swig of the coffee and shook his head.

“No,” he said, “nothing happened. I simply helped your drunken arse back to that room. I wasn’t sure where yours was so I took you to the closest one. Can I drink my coffee in peace now?”

He moved by the sink to look out of the window, and Bree walked past him with a frown to grab her own coffee. As she walked past him, her honey scent hit his sense and he stiffened. Looking up he saw her carefully open the cupboard and then stretch on to her tip-toes in pursuit of a coffee mug. The mugs were on a higher shelf in the cupboard, and as she stretched her dress also lifted and he groaned inwardly.

While she struggled, Bree cursed her height. Just as she was deciding on standing on the counter she felt him. His hot skin seemed to burn through her dress and she could feel him in her bones. Biting her bottom lip, she closed her eyes as he reached up past her and brought down a mug for her. Her proximity had Hauk’s mind reeling with the different things he’d kill to do to her. Feeling her soft body so close to his, he instinctively leaned forward a bit. The small gasp that escaped her lips after that snapped the last of his control.

Bree felt what she was sure was his arousal against her behind and couldn’t retain her startled gasp. She’d never in a million years imagined that that was what it would feel like. Heat suffused to her cheeks and as she started to protest those hot lips that came down on her neck. Her arguments lodged in her throat, Bree clutched the counter as his hips began to press in closer. His arms slowly came around her waist and held her close. Sighing softly at how good his arms felt she leaned into him and turned her head to face him.

As if of their own accord, Hauk’s lips found hers. When her sweet taste touched his lips he groaned and plunged his tongue into her. He explored her mouth while her own tongue apprehensively touched his. Clutching her to him, he turned her full to him and felt the full length of her figure cushioning his much harder and larger one, with her soft curves. He ran his hands up and down her back and pressed her as close as he could. She was so hot in his arms, and their heat combined felt like disaster, but he couldn’t stop himself. She tastes so good…

He feels so good… As those thoughts entered her head she stiffened from head to toe. Jerking away from him feverishly, she touched the side of her neck almost as if she was checking her pulse and looked up at him bewildered. Hauk returned her gaze as the realization of what just happened sank in. She turned away and mumbled a thank you as she grasped the coffee mug with shaking hands and poured some in for herself. As she did so, Hauk bit back the urge to steady her hands with his own, and turned away walking to the sink again.

H-He… Oh god what was I thnking…

 

Christ, man, no emotional women! What the hell were you thinking?

 

…I’m hung-over… that’s all… I’m not thinking straight, he’s got nothing on me!

 

She gave you a place to stay and then you try to take advantage of her? She’s still drunk I bet, otherwise she’d never let me do that… right?

 

I mean there can be no other reason why I-.. He… Why we… But, it felt so…

           

But she felt so good…

 

Bree somehow managed to carry herself to the kitchen table on wobbly legs. Sitting down she stared mutely into her coffee cup, and took a deep steadying breath. Then they both spoke at once.

“I think you should-”

“Maybe I shou-…”

They turned and stared at each other hopelessly, then averted their gaze.

“I-I’m hung-over…” she stated solemnly, as if it explained everything.

“Oh,” he wasn’t sure what else to say.

There was a long, stark silence as Hauk finished his coffee and washed out his mug. Bree stood up to wash her mug, but when she neared the sink he took the mug from her hands.

“I- I can do-…”

“I got it,” he spoke with a confidence that seemed misplaced amongst the dishes.

As she turned away he took a deep breath and snapped the faucet shut. Turning he leaned back against the counter, gripping the edges of the granite. It was all he could do not to reach out and touch her again. She just looks so damn soft… Running a hand through his hair before placing it carefully back onto the counter.

“Listen, I’m sorry for what just happened there,” he said in a gruff voice.

When she said nothing and just stood there he continued.

“I’ll probably be going today, I’m packed and I used your phone to call a cab. I really appreciate you letting me stay the night; I know it must be scary for a lady living all alone. Anyway, I’ll be out of your hair in no time…”

As he turned to leave he paused before saying one more thing over his shoulder,

“Oh, and thanks for the coffee.”

“No problem,” was the only thing she could think to say.

As he left to go back to his room Bree wondered why she didn’t feel as relieved as she wanted to feel.

“Oh, whatever, Bree; you’re probably still drunk. There’s no way that’d happen if you weren’t…”

 

Hauk looked at himself in the dresser mirror and rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t know why he did it, and he couldn’t figure out why her scent still engulfed him. Shaking his head he grunted at the sappy thoughts going through his head.

“You just haven’t had a good woman to yourself in a long while… You’re a grown man, stop mooning over her,” he told himself.

Turning to the bed he opened up the suitcase and pulled out a button-down shirt. As he buttoned it up the front, and curse the small size of the buttons compared to his fingers, he heard the phone ringing. Instinctively he turned to the door, then stopped himself. Not your phone, man. As he zipped up his suit-case he took another deep breath through his nose and let it out through his lips. Despite the fact that he was on a completely different floor than her, Bree’s presence still affected him somehow.

As Hauk left the bedroom he wondered why he felt so bad about it.

“I’m telling you Hauk, you’re just being hormonal. Christ, get the hell out of here,” he told himself.

On his way downstairs he heard Bree’s voice in the kitchen. Assuming she was still on the phone he reached the front door and paused. It was then that he noticed the slightly panicked and upset tone to her voice. Frowning, Hauk couldn’t help himself, and went to check on her. He found her pacing the kitchen while on the phone. He listened, only imagining what was happening on the other end of the line.

“Wh- How do you know…? Greg, shut up! Just Sh-…”

There was a long deafening pause and she looked up and saw him watching her. She had tears in her eyes and she turned away clutching the phone to her ear.

“Listen, NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! I hate you…. Yeah, yeah I do. You can’t do that!   You can’t Greg! You…I-I’m the whore? I am?! Oh just shove it, Greg…”

Bree turned the phone off and slipped back into its cradle. Wiping her eyes with shaky fingers she turned around taking a deep breath and plastered on a wobbly smile as she looked up at him with watery eyes.

“I assume you’re on your way out then, is the cab here already?”

Hauk stared at her a moment, and a tick worked in his jaw. He did not like seeing her like this; damned if he knew why he felt that way, but he did.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“Who- No one… my ex. It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it…” she looked down at her hands to avoid his piercing gaze.

“What did he say?”

Bree stopped fiddling and her head snapped up as she looked at him.

“Excuse me?” she asked in a chilled voice.

“What. Did. He. Say?” he enunciated each word slowly.

Closing her eyes Bree took a deep breath. As she began to turn away Hauk took a small step forward.

“Brianne, what did he say?”

Her name sounded so sweet on his lips, but Greg made it sound like a dirty word. Shaking her head she refused to turn to look at him.

“He… He’s just angry, I think. I mean I know he’d never… that is he’s never-“

“Brianna,” his patience was slipping.

“H-He was just threatening me, okay? It’s fine…” she turned and walked towards the attached living room.

Despite her attempts to get out from under his searching gaze, she was once again trapped, as he followed her into the living room. Bree stood by the fireplace and looked at the pictures that lined the mantel. There were images of her as a child, her father, her sister. She picked up her favorite one; her father, her sister Anne, her brother Ray, and Bree were sitting on the leather couch behind her, holding each other and smiling happily. Touching the intricate frame gently she sighed and closed her eyes, wishing fondly that she could go back to that moment and live in it forever. With her back to him, Bree looked so small. Hauk saw her sigh and he felt a pang of sympathy for her.

“Bree…” he measured his tone and took one step closed.

Straightening her spine she took a deep breath and began to speak.

“My mother died when I was three years old, while she was having a baby… She was a beautiful little girl, but she didn’t survive either. My father, despite how hurt and broken by the loss he was, raised my brother, my sister and I. He never once let us feel like we had no mother. He was our mother and father, and not once did he give up and find someone else. I asked him when I was older; why he hadn’t found another wife for himself. He told me ‘Pumpkin, you only fall in love once…’ and that was that. My siblings and I grew up and moved out on our own, pursuing our dreams. Not once did we think of him, here, all alone, in this big old house. We visited on holidays, but every other day he was alone.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Bree wiped her tears weakly before she continued.

“He passed away two years ago, and Greg wasn’t there to console me. He was busy at a meeting. We’d been together for two years at that point, and instead of being there for me at night while I cried myself to sleep, he… he was with another woman. Another woman, Hauk. I had no idea; I had no idea and I believed him. But he came back when I called. I thought he came back because my voice was raspy with tears… He came back from his ‘business trip’ only because heard that I had gotten something in my father’s will.”

She let out a humorless laugh and shook her head, rage clear in her eyes as was the betrayal.

“When he found out that I had gotten this house, this bloody house, in the will he proposed to me a month later. He proposed and I was so happy. You see, he wanted to sell this property and take the small fortune my father had left behind along with it. I didn’t find out until after I caught him… here…in my kitchen… with her. I spent countless nights wondering why I wasn’t enough, what I had done wrong…”

Hauk clenched his jaw and took another step towards her,

“Look, Bri-“

Brianne raised a hand to silence him and shook her head before turning around and continuing with her story.

“No, don’t. Don’t say anything, Hauk. I know I’m not perfect, and I don’t care. Maybe this is just karma getting back at me for leaving my father, the one man that ever cared for me in my life, to live here all alone. Maybe I deserve this…”

With one long stride, Hauk stepped directly in front of her and grabbed her shoulders. Looking into her pained expression he tugged her close for a friendly, comforting hug. Pulling out a handkerchief from his back pocket he stepped back slowly and handed it to her. He watched as Bree took the square piece of trimmed fabric and sniffled into it. After waiting for her to finish he spoke carefully, as if measuring his words.

“What did Greg say… exactly?” he asked quietly.

Pausing momentarily she looked up at him, then sighed, as if she was giving up.

“He threatened to make my life miserable… He said he’d do anything to get what he wanted, and if that meant he’d have to end me… I-I’m sure he wouldn’t… He- He can’t…”

Hauk felt an odd need to find this Greg and cave his face in. Sighing, he rolled up his sleeves and straightened a bit,

“I’m staying Bree; I’m going to stay and we’re going to fix this…”

“Y-You don’t have to- I mean I’ve been so… It’s okay r-really… I’ll manage,” she protested.

He mirrored her humorless laughter and turned away making his way to where he placed his bag.

“Yeah, and possibly get harmed, or worse, in the process. I’m going to call in a couple of my buddies first. You don’t mind, right? We’ll end this guy’s plans before they start.”

Bree scurried after him, startled by this.

“F-friends? But, I-… But why would you…” her question trailed off as he turned around and gave her a strained expression.

Groaning inwardly, he spoke slowly,

“It’s… complicated.”

Frowning, Brianne lifted a brow and put her hands on her hips stubbornly.

“I just gave you a briefing on my whole life, Hauk. If you want me to let you help, hell if you want me to let you stay, you’ll explain. I don’t care how complicated it is. I’m not that hung-over.”

Hauk took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Placing his hands on her shoulder he looked down into her eyes. Bree worried, her bottom lip between her teeth, and looked back into those  grey-greens of his.

“Just trust me, Bree,” he said her name in that deep husky voice of his.

Eyeing him wearily she closed her eyes and turned away waving arms, as she made her way up the stairs.

“Oh, don’t give me the puppy look, I’m immune, you know! Well, go ahead then call your buddies,” she paused then called down, “you know where you’re staying, feel free to bring your bag back up.”

Chuckling, Hauk waited until he was sure she was out of ear-shot and pulled out his phone. Dialing a number he waited a moment before someone answered.

“’Ey, Rain, yeah it’s me… Yeah everything’s good but uh-… Look I need you to come to this place I’m at… Yeah, okay I’ll text you the address. Oh and Rain, bring the boys, I’ll explain everything when you get here…”

 

END TO PART 2

For When You Forget Me [Memory-Loss]

I wish I could remember,

What I had said about the mountains,

At my window.

About how the Ever-Greens they bear,

Stand up like small hairs,

From afar.

I want to remember,

What I’d thought to myself about the clouds,

Outside my door.

How sometimes like oil paints they glide across the sky,

Like cool milk clouds in spiced chai,

In a porcelain cup.

I cannot remember,

What I told myself about us,

Like we were.

Something about how you smelled like Ever-Green mountains,

And our kisses were like clouds and moved like frothy fountains.

Light and volatile.

I wish you could remember,

What you had said that day about the oak tree,

Growing old by the porch.

How it’s winter-barren branches, bent but not broken,

Bore buds that would flower like spring upon our passion unspoken,

Once you’ve forgotten.

Aside

01/02/2012

Tags

,

So, I’ve got some bad news and good news!

But I’ll tell you the bad first.

The Bad: My laptop crashed due to a mechanical issue with the hard drive, and I lost all of my work, which is also why I haven’t posted in a while. That being said it will take a bit longer than I thought it would to get Sweetheart Blues Pt. 2 up.

The Good: I should be getting my Lap top back in a couple of days, and will get on the Sweetheart Blues pt 2 ASAP! Also, I will be posting a new poem up on the Kaliedascope using whatever program I can find on this computer.

 

So there you have it folks! The good, the bad and NO ugly!

 

Cheers!

~Raina

Remedy

Remedy for a sick day: Chai and cough drops.

Secret to Chai: I grew up in an east-Indian household. Now for the perfect chai its not the spices you use (any recipe will do), it’s how you make it. Fill a sauce pan or any kind of pot (not a frying pan) with 1-2 cups water, add spices according to your chosen recipe and then also add as much sugar as you’d like. I usually throw in 1-1.5 tablespoons myself and note you add the.sugar in WITH the water not in the end. Add anywhere from 1-2 table spoons of either loose black tea or 1-2 black tea teabags depending on how strong you want it and turn the stove on high (any Indian brands are perfect NO GREEN TEA). Let the contents boil for about 5 mins or until the water turns into a rich dark liquid. Turn the stove down a couple notches or to medium heat depending on how slow your pot cools down. If it cools down quickly keep the heat closer to high, and add milk in the now simmering/boiling tea. Wait until the milk begins to boil then rise up. I usually blow at it and lift it till it goes back down then lower it onto the element and let it rise one or two more times before turning it off. Then using a small strainer, strain the tea into a mug and enjoy. This way of making tea blends the flavors into one another more without having any one flavor stand out more than the others, it is the traditional way if making it and is used all over India today. Also if you’re sick ingredients such as ginger, honey (instead of.sugar) lychee, and cloves are important!

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